Under very different circumstances. I’ve been trying to find the right words for this post for 4 days now, its not easy. So Ill start from the beginning.
This past January I attended a photography convention. While wandering up and down the aisles looking at all the neat trends in the industry I ended up in front of a display that has some of the most beautiful newborn portraits I have seen. I stood there and quickly read what the booth had to say. It was for a volunteer organization called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. That name said it all to me, I quickly grabbed a brochure and ran off to a corner to hide my tears. NILMDTS is a group of volunteers that capture memories of babies who, to put it lightly, don’t have much time on earth. I cried for at least 10 minutes, there in the middle of that convention floor. I had to call Liz to get my mind onto other things. A few weeks after the show I went through the swag I had brought home and found the NILMDTS brochure. After visiting their website and reading a few other photographers’ experiences I made the decision to sign up.
Fast forward to 5 months later I got the phonecall I’ve been worried about. I don’t want to share too many details for the family’s privacy, but the father told me their unborn baby has been diagnosed with a condition that is incompatible with life. Somehow we got through the conversation, I got the details I needed and we setup a maternity shoot for the next morning. The shoot went smoothly and I’m very happy with the moments I captured. Afterwards we filled out paperwork for the organization and they shared more details of their little ones condition. They said there had been alot of ‘signs’ that he could be here any day now, so I decided to put my Father’s Day visit home on hold just in case.
Tonight I got the call that mom is in labor. Since the hospital is 30 minutes from my house, and this baby might only have a few minutes on earth I decided to hang out in the waiting room tonight (I waited 6 hours before heading up here) So here I am, just watched the Lakers beat the Celtics and just trying to stay awake. I tried to find coffee on my way here but everything is closed. Even the cafeteria here doesn’t open until 2 am. There’s a big family here waiting for their first grandchild, happily pacing the halls. I haven’t let my family know that I’m here, I don’t want them thinking about me in there.
Please pray, send positive thoughts, anything to help this family find peace. And thank you for reading my late night ramble.
[Update: 6/16/08 11:30am] After waiting in the hospital for a few hours I decided to head home. Realizing that things may not go as planned, and knowing the family is aware of the time it would take me to reach them from home, I decided to head back to my house. The father called me a couple hours after I had gotten home to let me know things are going smoothly and slowly, and they expect their little one to arrive sometime this afternoon or evening. I’m going to take a shower, get dressed and then head back to bed for a bit to try to catch up on my sleep. Thank you for all your kind words and encouragement, I struggled with whether I should share this experience at all, but if it helps spread the word that the organization exists, well I think that is a good thing.
If you’d like to watch the Today Show segment on NILMDTS you can: view it here.
I am familiar with this group and have actually worked with them (unfortunately) b/c of my job. I think its an amazing gift for these parents and more amazing gift of your time and talent that you give for them. Thank you for volunteering for that, we nurses and of course the families thank you.
I think it’s wonderful that you are doing that. What a gift to that family. I will say a little prayer for the family.
I am so proud of you for doing this. What a wonderful gift to give these families! I will be thinking about your family today.
Wow.. What beautiful memories you were able to give this family. My prayers are with you and this family that has been blessed with your gift.
That is so cool that using your talent to help out these families. My heart goes out to them, I can’t even imagine how hard that must be!
I remember finding out about that organization when I first had Annabelle. I found the website late one night when looking for photography pose ideas and remember sitting there bawling my eyes out as I tried to read and look at the beautiful images through the tears. That is SUCH a wonderful gift that you’re giving to that family, and I’m sure they’ll never forget you for it. You’re a very strong and brave person to give this gift, and I’m so proud of you for it!
You are an amazing person. I just cried while reading your blog. I cannot imagine what a special gift and intimate moment you share with these families.
Hi Erica. Remember me? It’s Liz’s friend from high school. I have been reading your blog for a while, and this entry really moved me. What an incredible gift- you’re pictures are beautiful and I know this family will appreciate them always. I’m sure it’ll be incredibly difficult, but will, without a doubt, be worth it. Please keep us posted.
Now that I have tears streaming down my face after reading your entry and watching the Today show piece, I can say how amazing I think this organization is. Thanks for talking about your experience, and sharing your talent for such a wonderful purpose.